Sin #94: The Loss of a Child

I don’t think I’ll ever understand the pain of losing a child and I hope I never have to. Two recent, albeit different, movies I saw dealt with the repercussions of this tragedy on a marriage. The first movie focused on the man that forever changed scientific studies and the other on a middle-class couple dealing with loss.

“Creation” is the story of how Charles Darwin came to write and publish his controversial “On the Origin of Species”; a book he knew would defy the principles of his own faith. The film humanizes the man and avoids an oversimplified view on the science versus religion issue. It wisely keeps us focused on Darwin and his frail grip on reality as he continues to see his 10 year-old daughter long after her death. The film could have easily been as controversial as its subject but it remains neutral preferring to portray the drama of a family torn by pain and disease. Paul Bettany and Jennifer Connelly (a real life couple) are very convincing on their roles and help elevate the picture from the cheap Hallmark TV production it could have easily become. I had always thought of Darwin as a devoted atheist and a spokesman for rational thought but it surprised me to learn of his conflict of ideas since he attended church regularly and his wife was a devoted Christian.

“Rabbit Hole” may be one of the most honest dramas I’ve seen in a while. It plunges us directly into the life of a married couple 8 months after the death of their 4 year-old son. His death was an accident (he was hit by a car after chasing his dog) but the couple continues to grieve and attend therapy sessions that don’t seem to help much (especially for Becca, who hates all the “god talk”). Their struggle to continue with their daily lives is sometimes unbearably painful in a movie that’s equally hard to watch.

Nicole Kidman delivers one of her best performances as Becca, a strong woman trying to find some comfort; Aaron Eckhart as Howie, her husband, is equally good, as a man realizing that his marriage needs to heal in order to survive.

Director John Cameron Mitchell is a curious choice for this material after making “Hedwig and the Angry Inch” and “Shortbus”. This story might feel more conventional but he shows great detail and care for moments of raw honesty and heartbreak (especially the scenes between Becca and Jason, the teenager who was driving on that tragic day). Mitchell avoids clichés and finds redemption for its characters; he also balances the more intense moments with sweet humor (mostly between the husband and a woman he meets at the therapy sessions, played by Sandra Oh) than in no way underplays the hurt.

What I like about both movies is their sincerity and their reluctance to overplay the drama giving a lot of dignity to their characters. “Creation” takes one of the most important figures in history and successfully turns him into a complex human being (thanks to Bettany’s moving portrayal) and “Rabbit Hole” is a heartbreaking and unforgettable story that truly resonates.