Sin #90: Transcendental Crap

It’s no secret that Hollywood churns out dozens of bad movies every year; some of the worst break out through the gates right at the beginning, on January and February (months that have infamously become a dumping ground for failed productions).

Making a bad movie is easy enough (just ask Uwe Boll) but making a terrible movie that suddenly becomes a cult item must be a great feat (even though, as they’re making it, filmmakers have no clue as to the public’s reaction to the finished product). Take “Troll 2” for example; according to voters on the IMDB website it is the worst movie of all time. It was written and directed by an Italian couple who barely spoke any English and who thought they were dealing with some heavy issues.

Watching “Troll 2” is a curious experience. I expected to be entertained with its ludicrous plot but grew tired at its obvious incompetence and seriously bizarre sequences. There’s a kind of lunacy at work here that might have resulted appealing to the hundreds of “Troll 2” fans around the world but that failed to interest me in the slightest (was it too much to ask for campy fun?). The popularity of the movie was truly unexpected for its cast who were rightfully embarrassed at the film. The one positive aspect with the whole “Troll 2” fan lore support was the release of the documentary “Best Worst Movie”, which chronicles the impact of the movie as well as the lives of the people around the production (mainly George Hardy, who played the father in the film and who is a successful dentist, and all around nice guy, in his home town). He loves the attention and is thrilled to go around the United States promoting it.

“Best Worst Movie” is a much, much better film than “Troll 2”. It’s funny and poignant and entertaining. I saw it before even knowing of the existence of “Troll 2” and it made me curious to go back and check it out, only to realize that you really don’t need to see it in the first place.

One movie that does live to its infamy is Tommy Wiseau’s “The Room”, a hilariously incompetent drama with some of the worst performances ever captured on film. The worst is by Wiseau himself, who manages to turn every line of dialogue with a hysterically funny delivery (“You’re tearing me apart, Lisa”, “oh, hi Mark”). “The Room” has become the pun of every joke since its release but it has gathered a cult following (even celebrities like Paul Rudd have embraced the film) and there’s still packed midnight screenings. The first time I saw it I found myself appalled at how every scene was seriously misconceived and the whole story was stuck in a narrative blender that was sort of…brilliant. I saw the movie again and was equally enthralled and by the third viewing I truly realized how special “The Room” was. Tommy Wiseau is the real deal, a man so endearingly incompetent (think of him as a successor to Ed Wood) that his films become instantly addictive. He recently released a short film titled “The House That Drips Blood on Alex” that is very funny, once again, for all the wrong reasons.

There are a lot of reviews making fun of Wiseau and his “Magnum Opus” but it’s a movie that lingers on our mind like a parasite refusing to die. That is no small feat for a movie with such a banal plot (in a way, the film is an experience, impossible to describe). So, is “Troll 2” worst than “The Room”? Definitely, and expect a “The Room” and Wiseau documentary anytime soon.

By the way, Wiseau is planning a 3D version of the film and is ready to release the Bluray edition with loads of extras. Thank you, Tommy.